Doubts!

I've been doing a bit of thinking about this Angel and Angelbabies reunion I've proposed. Angel has issues, as you know. She is not just timid around people, she is downright loud. She does not warm up to people quickly at all. She is overwhelmed easily. She cannot be approached by strangers or it's mayhem! We can't invite friends over who have small children because she tends to scare them. She has never tried to bite anyone, but her growl is so fierce....I keep her at a distance just to ease their minds. Once she can smell someone on her own time, you'd think it would make it better, but she'll sniff, then jump back and begin barking all over again. Any quick movements really set her off. She does not like boys or men very much, except for the men in our lives. It really puts her through a lot of stress when anyone stops by, unless she's familiar with them. It IS possible for her to get used to people and love on them. It just takes many visits with her, which obviously doesn't happen with everyone we know.  She shakes terribly when she visits anywhere, even my parents home, because she's afraid of their dog, and probably afraid of being left there. She's a complicated sweetheart.

So, I can't really afford special training and I've been trying to manage it on my own. I think she's somewhat better than when we first got her, and I know she's capable of change, it's just a lot slower process than I had hoped to achieve.  I think I am more nervous about her reactions than the rest of you. I spend more time trying to hush her and get her under control than I do being able to visit when someone stops by. I've tried putting her in our room when she won't settle down, but she slams against the door and barks continually. It depends on who is here, but if we let her freely move around, she tends to settle down faster than if we restrained her. If kids are here, we can't do that, although she was great with my great-nieces, ages 3 and 5, so I don't think she wants to hurt the kids. I think she is afraid of them in general. I love kids and would never want them to feel afraid in my home. Kind of disappointing, because I would love to babysit. I'm a mother at heart. Maybe why I love Angel so much too!

Whoever had this dog in the early years of her life clearly did not socialize her. I knew this when we got her, had compassion for her, and took her on anyway. It has been a challenge, as we can't go on vacation unless we can find house sitters or take her with us. 

While this meeting in a way is very exciting, I am afraid of how she would react to a bunch of new people and her own puppies all at once. My new thinking is that maybe she could meet with them one at a time. Maybe the puppies could meet without her at some time as well. That would give us a bit more time to work with her and hope she outgrows some of this behavior. If I could find an affordable trainer that I trust, it would be worth giving up something else in order to get that help. I am truly nervous that she won't approach the puppies because there are people attached that she doesn't know! :)

This dear girl came into our lives for a reason. Last night she climbed right up in my face and gave me kisses. She then crawled right over to Steve and gave him some too. I said to her, "Did Sophie tell you to do that? Because you are taking such good care of us." And that's what it has been like. Our old dog's spirit is in Angel. Maybe not literally...but she's definitely got her sweet loving personality. I really hope you all get a chance to see the good side of her. I hope this meeting will actually take place. I'll keep working on it!